[nobody gets me like you]

I've been having some really good late-night conversations recently.  (Thanks to those of you who've been putting up with me! :P)


On that I had the other night included me going *slightly* ecstatic over some pieces of what would normally be home-office furniture.  I say normally, because I would class it as past of standard essential home-ware.  But hey, I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.  And I may be a *slight* control freak at times.
At least I'm honest about these things...


Anyway, back to the topic in hand.  In the course of this conversation I made the comment that I'm sometimes sure that something is what I really want, but I'm equally sure that if someone who really knew me came along and showed me something completely different that would almost be better.  Or I often think I know exactly what I want, and how I want it, but then I wouldn't be surprised if someone who knew me really well came along and gave me something completely different, but that it would be even better than I imagined.  Because it would be what I needed, not what I thought I wanted.

In this context, I was talking specifically about houses.  My perfect house would be a big little cosy cottage on the border of the town and countryside with a view of the sea.  It would have real fireplaces, with proper oak flooring, with an Aga in the kitchen, open plan to an extent but having lots of nooks and crannies in which to put books/cushions/people, proper quilts on the beds (of which there would be at least two), full of fresh flowers and sunshine and of course tidy, organised, light and welcoming.  That is my idea of heaven :) (yeah, I know... keep dreaming...) 

In the course of the above conversation, the friend in question raised the point that they'd thought something similar about relationships, but never before about possessions.  In Don't Tell The Bride, brides often remark that their (now) husbands have done an amazing job organising the wedding, even though it wasn't what they'd wanted - it was better.


Was what the husbands organised better because they really did know their wives well?  Or was it that the brides had just over-commercialised the personalised celebration that they wanted?  Another friend commented recently (in a difference context!) that 

"what you think you need, need is what God knows you need". 

In my head I kind of changed this to "wanting" was what you thought, and "needing" was what God thought.  I've been mulling this over in the week since it was said, and I really think it's true.  Probably because most of the things we (or me at least, but being shallow and materialistic are but two of my many failings) want are material things.  I mean, of course I want to be happy and I want everyone else to be happy too.  I want to have a good job and a loving family (as in future family - my current family is lovely!) But how much of that is because I want this nice house, and people with whom to share it?  How much of it is for my personal satisfaction (whether due to societal pressures or not)?


I managed to answer a question I posted here a few months ago.  
Q: Why am I putting myself through this degree?
A: Because I want a good job.
Q: Why do I want a good job?
A: So I can have this house.
Q: Why do I want this house?
A: Because it will be pretty and perfect.


As imperfect beings, do we (I) put too much weight on "perfect" things?  Another friend (one that probably knows knew me too well) once said that it was in imperfections that we find perfection.  I can't decide whether on the surface or on a deeper reading that it makes no sense, but I think I understand what they meant.  Being perfect is, in itself, an imperfection.  But when there are many imperfections - the chair that's a bit rickety because it belonged to a Grandparent, the mug that's had to become a vase because your brother's chipped it, the plates that don't all match because your friends helped you collect them all - these imperfections, these quirks and personal memories - make these things perfect.

God knows that what we need, we will get.  He is our father, and therefore knows what we need before we even ask for it.  (Matthew 6:8) He knows that we need things to live.  We might want everything to be pretty and beautiful, but if it's part of God's creation, part of what he's made... how can it not be?  Even if we don't think it is, God might. 
What we should want most is God's Kingdom, and doing what he wants.  Even if we don't think it's pretty.  Even if no one else thinks it's pretty.  If we're doing what God wants then God will give us what we need. (Matthew 6:33).


Four leaf clovers, for example, are so sought after because they're actually imperfect.  Clovers have three leaves, not four.  But the ones with four leaves, those that are imperfect, are special. 

What do you see as perfection?

What do you want, and what do you need?

[change is inevitable]

... Except from a vending machine.

I like change. 

I mean I really like change.  I find it exciting.  And exhilarating.  And just generally fun.

I’m not always good at remembering I like change.    Sometimes it’s because change seems to come at the wrong time, or because it’s the wrong sort of change.  But then either the change gets better, or I remember that I’m a big girl and these things happen.  And then I like change again. 

Mainly because it’s inevitable.  And there’s no point in disliking inevitable things, because it will just make you sad.  And that’s not nice.

One change that I thought was the wrong sort was when MAYC (that’s the Methodist Association of Youth Clubs, or the Youth Work part of the Methodist Church in Great Britain, for those not in the know) disbanded.  Ceased to be.  This was due to something called the YPS (Youth Participation Strategy), which was designed to get more Young People involved in the life of the church.   Now don’t get me wrong, the actual process and strategy of moving on was definitely a Good Thing.   The old system was flawed (did wonders for me, but was flawed nonetheless) and needed a breath of life, fresh air and a good clean out. 

And that’s just what happened!  It needed to be done, but I think that it was perhaps done too thoroughly.  This was back in 2009, and the first connexional (like national, but in Methodist-speak) meeting that we had as Young People was not quite as seamless as we’d hope.  There were certainly many improvements to be made, but as a facilitator (someone who lead workshops) for this Assembly I felt that this was something that could easily be done.  The 2009 Assembly was basically run by the facilitators, in the absence of any “body” behind the scenes.  Having a body of Young People behind the Assembly would definitely have provided a more structured and organised backbone that I think would have really benefitted the event. 

In the year between the 2009 and 2010 Assemblies, I really think that the Children and Youth Team (the replacement of MAYC) made a lot of good changes.  That’s not to say that I found the Assembly of 2010 easy – I didn’t -  but it was certainly easier than the Assembly of 2009.  The event seemed to flow better, and although it felt small, it was more organised, and there was a team in place.

However, the Assembly of 2011 was certainly the best so far.  I think that there was a lot more Youth Participation, which means that more Young People were engaging in conversation not only with the established Church, but also with each other.  This year, I was there not as a facilitator, but as a steward – a whole different ball game.  Maybe this different perspective opened my eyes to another way of working within Assembly, or maybe things really were good this year, but 2011 was most certainly a Good Thing.  Not sure I’d go back to stewarding, but it was definitely good to see what it was like.  It meant that I could have fun with rotas and pretty colours, and – let’s be honest – what more do I need to make me happy? 

MYA11 reminded me (again) that I do, actually, like change.  So it takes me a few years to get used to it, and I'm maybe not as forgiving as I should be about kinks/unrealistic about how many things, really, go completely right the first time around.  Seems now that Assembly is fantastic just as the funding comes under review.... let's hope that Conference make a wise and informed decision. They were visionary in starting the YPS - let's hope that they're visionary in continuing it!

I’m really excited to see where 2012 is headed.  Keep up to date with the goings-on by following the Methodist Youth Pres blog if you don’t already, and want to find out more!

And remember:

Just because everything’s changing doesn’t mean that it’s not been this way before.

- Regina Spektor 

Wohin sonst sollten wir gehen?

Those who know me well will know of my (now-not-so-secret) dream of being a wedding planner.  The opportunity of being there: of helping with details and organisation so that the (traditional) bride's mind and concentration can be totally in the moment of declaring her love for her (traditional) groom is something that greatly appeals to me.  

No, actually it does more than that.  

It makes me happy.  It makes me smile.  Sometimes it makes me cry, but these tears are good tears.  They're happy tears.  Tears of belonging, of joy, and of love.  Not necessarily of the actual process of planning a wedding, but the overflow of feeling that's shown between two people who truly love each other.  


To me, love looks like this...
               

  rather than this:

To be quite perfectly honest, despite my love of detail and all things pretty and gorgeous, I would quite happily get married in what I'm wearing right now.  (What you don't know is that while writing this I'm actually sitting in a stunning white evening dress... no, not really)  And I know that that may shock more people who know me.  But really what I'm trying to say here is that the wedding is not a celebration in itself.  A wedding is a celebration of the (hopefully) many, many years that a couple will spend together.  Sharing with each other, and loving each other.  On bad hair days, on days when the make-up has run out and you've forgotten to pop down to Boots/Superdrug to buy some more, on days when nothing looks right on you, on days where you really don't want to get out of bed.   That's what marriages are made of.  Unconditional, pure love.  That's what I'd hope to show in any weddings that I helped to plan.  (Maybe not literally...)  It's about the two people who are committing themselves to each other.  And let's be honest, they've done that in deciding that they want to get married anyway.  So should the publication of such a decision really be surrounded in so many trimmings?


At this time of year I can't help but compare a wedding and marriage to Christmas and Advent.  Obviously there are several parts where the analogy doesn't quite bear up, but keep with me.  The wedding is like Christmas.  Everyone's happy, smiling, and excited.  Admittedly, some *small* details, such as Christ's birth and the fact that you now have a lifetime together may be overlooked.  Advent is like a marriage, but rather than the waiting, the preparation and the watching, there are shared experiences, shared memories and time together.  The forging of something new, together.  It excites me.


Recently I've been thinking a lot about calling.  John and Matt have both blogged about this recently, but I think that their's is more about a "What now?" element of calling.  What I'm talking about is a general calling.  As in, "What's all this for?" and "Why am I doing this, again?" kind of thing.  My question is simply: Can we be called just to love?  




Purely, simply, wantonly, wastefully, fully, completely?  And if so, how do we fulfil that call?  




And what on earth am I doing, studying my degree if that's all I really want to do? 

[It's not about you, it's me]

So... my second blog from Germany. 

I’ve been meaning to get round to it for quite a while now (more or less since the day after I posted the previous one) but a simple retelling of what I’ve been up to, as I originally planned, just doesn’t seem right at the moment.  There are bigger, more important issues around than those everyday things that I’ve been seeing or experiencing (while I appreciate the “sacredness” of everyday life and everyday experiences, I think that these should be put on the backburner for the time being) so I’ve wanted to take a quick break from those for a little while to be able to fully get to grips with more... abstract issues, shall we say.

I’ve been wanting to blog about several things recently, but they all seem to be *just* out of my reach.  There are several situations I’ve found myself in recently:

a)  I’ve wanted to blog, but not known what about

b) I’ve wanted to blog, got a subject but not sure how to phrase what I’m thinking into words (or even not really sure what I’m thinking about...

c)  I’ve wanted to blog, got a subject and know roughly what I want to say about it, but then as soon as I turn around to put pen to paper fingers to keys I forget, or the thought that I had goes right out of my head.

I’m sure that anyone who’s ever blogged will know exactly what I’m on about.  Some people I know don’t seem to suffer from it (I remain convinced that they actually type up a load of blogs to keep them going through times lacking in inspiration... maybe I should do that!), others just don’t blog (like me) and some carry on blogging, but I notice a distinct shift in their blogging style.  Posts will be shorter, less focused and usually apologetic.  [Ooops... how many of those have I done myself, in this blog alone?]

Anyway, in my search for inspiration today I went back to reading Jessica Cheetham’s blog, and from there was directed to another blog that I really like – that of Jamie Wright, “the very worst missionary”.  She seems like a pretty darn good one through her witness on the web (I liked the alliteration, okay?) The post that I stumbled across was what she was about.  And that really made me think.  At the end of her post, she asks “What are you about?” and “What do you wish you were about?”  and this really got me thinking.  Usually when people ask to introduce yourself, or say a bit about yourself, this isn’t the kind of style you go for.  Usually, you’d go for the style that’s in my “About me” box (as an example).  As in, “I’m a student and I’m interested in Methodism and the World” and blah blah blah.  Nothing that really says what you’re about though. 

So, what am I about?

Believe it or not, I’m about early mornings.  I’m about snow and storms.

I’m about good company.  I'm about friends and wine.  I’m about companionship.  I’m about caring, and allowing yourself to be cared for.  Sometimes I’m not very good at that. 

I’m about recognising things I don’t like.  I’m about being pragmatic.  I’m about thinking the best of people.  Usually.  I’m about organising.  I’m about getting distracted far too often.  I’ve moved to another country to try to get this to change.

I’m about eating too much.  I’m about not knowing when to stop.  I’m about not knowing when to say no.  Oh, and I’m all about carbs.  I’m about walking.  I wish I was about the Gym, or about higher metabolism.  I’m about hating my legs and my stomach.  I wish I was about motivation to change.

I’m about thinking too much.  I’m about cynicism.  I’m about hurting those I love.  If I love you, I’ll probably hit you, or be mean or sarcastic to you.  And you know what?  I’m about crying alone, and brave faces in public. 

I’m about tradition.  I’m about respect.  I’m about breathing the love of Christ, though I don’t show in the same ways as other people.

I’m about other people.  I wish I was about the Church not thinking that it’s ONLY for the benefit of non-members.  I wish I was about the Church recognising that within its ranks there are so many broken and hurt people, there only for the grace of God, only to be told that the focus is on the people outside the doors.  Don’t get me wrong, those outside are definitely important too, but the Church should be like a family, taking care of those within as well as those outside.  So many hurt people don’t think that they have the “right” to be hurt, because they are in the Church.  I wish I was about getting this spoken about.  I’m about support.

I’m about story-telling.  I’m about travelling.  I’m about new things. 

I’m all about family.  I’m about laughter.  I’m about happiness.  I’m about love.  But only when it suits.

I wish I was more about allowing God to change me.  But I’m too often about me to allow that to happen.

I’m about not being honest enough.  I’m about being too honest.  I’m about making mistakes.  I’m about trying again.

What are you about?

[Lie back and think of England...]

Hallo aus Deutschland!

So here I am!  I’ve been in Stuttgart for about 24 hours now, so here’s the low-down.

THE ROOM

the bit cut out of the desk

Cell?

When I first walked in it looked like a cell.  Seriously.  White painted walls, white-light wooden coloured furniture, 2m white tiling around the sink, turquoise plastic floor.  All the stuff in it is really nice, with lots of storage space, a huuuge desk and a comfy bed.  Don’t think I’ll be moving the stuff around too much though, as it all looks nice and seems to be made to fit the room.  (For example, the desk has a bit cut out of it so that the radiator pipes will fit).   Typical German efficiency there!  I’ve now sorted out my room, anyway.  It looks a bit more homely – it now has bedding, and pictures and cards all over the place.  

I think I might need to get a rug or something for the floor, and maybe something for the walls.  I’ve not put the pictures on the walls because I have no curtains – something that I was not expecting at all!  No bedding, I expected.  No curtains... what?!  There’s a curtain rail (it even features in the inventory) but no curtains.  I just can’t get over it! Anyway, now my photos have made a kind-of curtain.  The light didn’t wake me up this morning, so I guess it’s ok, but I might go and get some anyway.  You know, just to seem normal!

THE HALLS

The halls are alright.  In each flat (I’m in 46 F) there are a number of rooms – 11 in my case.  We all share two “Dusche-WC” (bathrooms) and one was already claimed as the boys’ when I got here.  Fine by me!  In the one that’s left (presumably the girls’) there are two toilets and two showers.  The showers are nice- powerful and hot – and the toilets have the sink in the cubicle too.  This bathroom is right next to the kitchen, so I have to go upstairs. The Kitchen consists of a cooking area and a living area.  The cooking area has a cupboard for each of us (we were given a key for it) and a lockable cupboard in the fridge for each of us too.  We have half a drawer in the freezer, so I won’t be able to freeze so much stuff this year!  There are about 6 hobs and an oven, a microwave and a toaster.  I think there was a kettle too, but can’t quite remember.  There’s already a rubbish rota up that lasts until January, and it’s not my turn until November, which suits me fine! All the rubbish is separated here.  The living area has a big table for everyone to sit around, a sofa, a TV and a radio.  I’ve only met one person who’s in my flat so far – Johannes, who lives opposite.  He seems nice enough, but I’m kicking myself for turning down a tour of the flat!  Stupid girl.  I’m yet to meet anyone else, partly because I don’t really know what time people eat round here, partly because they still have exams at the moment and partly because I’m actually quite scared of meeting people.  Silly, I know, but I’m still in the “argh-German-help!” stage.  It’s so easy to just shut the door of your room (especially as I’m at the end of a corridor) and isolate yourself, which I mustn’t allow to happen!  Spent last night watching any TV I had downloaded already (Cherry Healey’s Body Dilemmas and Doctor Who) as had nothing else to do...

Side note: also yet to find the sauna.

THE UNI

The main bit of uni isn’t even 5 minutes walk away from my halls.  I’ve managed to set up a Bank Account (woo) even if the man decided to speak English to me just because I misheard “data” (“Daten”) as “date” (“Datum”), which I think is an easy mistake to make and would explain my confused face!  Still, I think he got the idea that I wasn’t totally stupid when I understood what he was saying a bit later on, but I still would have much rather he’s done it in German with me.  OH well!  I’ve yet to explore other areas of the campus – I think there’s a little shop here which sells fresh bread and things.  I also went over to the International Centre, but there didn’t seem to be much happening, other than a banner that said “Welcome International Students”.  I need to try to get the Internet at some point as well, but I have no idea where to get that from!  I’m writing this on Thursday, so we’ll have to see how long it takes for me to find it... It’s quite annoying as everything is on the internet as well – all the posters say “register here *give internet address*” and I can’t access emails either!  :’-(

THE CULTURE

I took a trip to Lidl’s in Vaihingen (the village-y area that the campus is attached to) yesterday and got a few things, but I’m already noticing the lack of variety.  No chickpeas or kidney beans!  Also couldn’t find oil, rice, stock cubes or mince, which surprised me, but then maybe I’m looking in the wrong place.  I know that there’s a market in Stuttgart, so I’ll have to go over there at some point and see if they have a butcher or something!

So far I think I’ve done alright:

Good points:

:) Got a room with bedding

:) Got food

:) Have at least one flat mate

:) Nice showers and toilets

:) Jumpers coming in handy

Bad points:

:( No internet (therefore can’t transfer money to account, can’t Skype, can’t email, can’t blog!)

:( Acting like a recluse (therefore no friends and therefore lonely L)

:( No idea how to get internet (therefore no internet – see above)

:( No idea how to sign up to things to get involved and stop acting like a recluse (therefore acting like a recluse – see above)

So I have more good points than bad points, which must be good really!  It’s just easier to focus on the bad things at the moment.  Looking forward to getting internet so that I can sign up for things and get in contact with people!

UPDATE: obviously now have internet!

[Pack all your troubles in your old kit bag]

With a move to Germany now imminent (I'll be on a plane this time on Wednesday!) I thought it might be a good plan to actually write down what I want to pack.  Putting this all in a suitcase and a half may well prove highly amusing.  I've been seeing other people's photos of things they've taken to uni, and indeed looking back on my own two years ago...
I can tell you now that I am NOT taking anywhere near this many shoes...

and that my TOTAL baggage will be more like this:             

    than this:

which it was when I first moved.  As I say, this will be interesting, as my "to pack" list currently has in excess of 40 items on it.  

This is it so far (in no particular order):

1. Photos
2. 2 x cook books + recipe book
3. Clothes (I've shortened all clothes to this, as otherwise I'd be here all day...)
4. 2 xTowels
5. Baking Tray
6. Wooden spoon
7. Sharp knife
8. 3 x cutlery
9. Toothbrush
10. Hair brush
11. Laptop charger
12. Laptop
13. Ethernet cable
14. Phone charger
15. Plug adapter
16. Extension cable
17. Batteries
18. Voice Recorder
19. Pans
20. Transcript & other documentation (eg offer letter)
21. Passport photos
22. E111
23. Passport
24. Purse
25. Diary
26. Pens
27. Hole punch
28. Stapler
29. New Testament (cos I have it in German)
30. Grammar sheets
31. Make up

That's it so far... can anyone think of anything else that I might need that I have forgotten?

THOUGHTFLASH: Children of God

God Help The Outcasts


I love this song. Given my last post, I really think that we should be paying a bit more attention to Disney sometimes.

In reality, how many of us are like the parishioners - selfish, asking for things that will only benefit ourselves? How many of us are like Esmerelda - "I ask ask for nothing - I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I"?

Food for thought, anyway.

Dared to move? Take Two

Well, I'd say that the post from my phone (however short, full of the ubiquitous [yes, I did just want to fit that word in] predictive text fails and generally unhelpful) was successful! Must remember that for my move to Germany next week. (That's quite scary)

Anyway, I promised a Conference Blog, and so here it is.

We (my Synod Secretary [SynSec], his wife and I) got to Conference on Friday, 1st July. We took a quick walk over the Methodist Women in Britain (MWiB) event which was good fun, especially as we got cake! Met up with Rach before leaving and meeting Matt, and eventually other young people including John, Grace and Christy-Anna, the (now ex-) Methodist Youth President.

For those who don't know, Conference is an annual meeting of Methodists to make decisions and debate things across the Connexion (/country). It is never closed, only adjourned, so Conference could be called back at any time during the year. Conference's decision is weighty, as once Conference has decided something this becomes an official view of the Methodist Church (once it has gone through the appropriate and necessary time delays).

This year, a lot of debating focussed on the Big Society, Poverty and Inequality, Reaffirmation of Baptism (which I didn't really think had enough time), and also some good stuff about Schools (which was more in a parallel session, but still raised some good questions/points). All of the main Conference debates can be found on the website, starting from the beginning, here. Throughout Conference the Twitter engagement was amazing - I was sat next to my Chair of District (think Bishop equivalent) and he kept asking what people were saying! DigiMission's general Twitter Infographic and blog make for very interesting and encouraging reading, and can describe the amazing reception of Twitter much better than I can, so I'm not even going to try.

Something that I was listening to before Conference, and particularly brought to mind by Conference, was the Switchfoot song "Dare you to move". I would love the Church to take this as a direct challenge and call to action - a real "get up and go" shout that shows the world that even if they think we're dead and/or dying, there's a last breath in us yet!

Bruce Thompson, the new Chair of District for Lincoln and Grimsby, gave a fantastic call to social responsibility last Sunday. I must admit that I got so caught up in what he was saying I can't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember that I liked it a lot. It was all about our ability to respond. As a Church, what is our ability to respond like? How often do we actually test these abilities - stretch them, prove them? Maybe we should do things like that more often.

Dare you to move:

Welcome to the planet: welcome to existence. Everyone's here. Everyone's here. Everybody's watching you now; everybody waits for you now. What happens next? What happens next?

I dare you to move. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move. I dare you to move like today never happened. Today never happened before.

Welcome to the fallout: welcome to resistance. The tension is here. Tension is here: between who you are and who you could be; between how it is and how it should be.

I dare you to move. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move. I dare you to move like today never happened. Today never happened before.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell - maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here.

I dare you to move. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move. I dare you to move like today never happened. Today never happened before. Today never happened. Today never happened before.

Dared to move?

Methodist conference, or #methconf to those who tweet, is a gathering of Methodists from across the connexion (and beyond, I'd such a thong exists) that lasted a week and finished on Thursday.  I'm in the process of ordering my thoughts on this, while working, and it's not proving too successful. Still, this is just a quick blog to reassure that my musings will appear soon. How soon i'm not sure, but soon.
Hoping this posts, as it's the first time I've used my phone for a blog, but hopes are high!

[Belief over Misery]

So, again, not doing so well on the whole blogging-every-Sunday thing. But this time, this time, I have a reason. And a pretty darned good one too: I’ve not been here.

My love of travelling combined with my feeling of being cooped up during exams meant that I had just over a month of not actually spending a weekend in Manchester. It was great fun, made my room extraordinarily messy (living out of suitcases just after a two week revision period and plain laziness will do that to you) and meant that I visited England, (Ireland through films/dreams), Scotland and Wales in less than a month. Impressive, eh?

The weekend after my exams finished I went home, to see my brother’s pantomime. He was surprisingly good – and I know I say that more out of surprise that he can actually do something than anything else. I think it really showed me that he’s not seven years old anymore, and can do things like act and sing in plays. And be quite responsible, really. Mind you, he is 15 now and so I should really have seen it coming I suppose... but still. I’ve seen it now – better late than never! My Grandma was down that weekend too, which was also nice, and I got to see Cara, who I didn’t really see over Christmas (sad face L). But it was indeed a lovely weekend!

The first weekend in February (after I’d spent the Friday morning in a lecture for a module I later found out I didn’t have to take) was spent in Aberystwyth. And I must agree with Matt, it is very nice. People are friendly, the sea is round the corner (literally) and everyone lives so close! Having been shown all five of his “Five Best Things About Aber”. I must agree that all five are pretty good. Here’s a quick review:

5: Hollywood Pizza does lovely deep-pan pizza, and I can totally understand Ruth’s mouth watering when we got back to eat it! I think that home-delivery for Matt, while on the border of being unacceptably lazy, has to be done. The shop is literally 30 seconds’ walk (at a reasonable pace) from his front door...

4: Consti does have a lovely view from the top, even if we were nearly blown off! The place that sold ice-creams didn’t have any that I could see, but they did do Hot Chocolates! Maybe I was still a bit early in the season. Still, you really can see most of Aber (you can’t see the main campus) and all the different bits of it. It was nice because later, when we walked down and through the town, we walked past places I’d seen from the top of the hill.

3: I’ve already mentioned how close everyone is to each other, but Aber is literally tiny. As in, the furthest place from Matt’s house that we went to (other than Consti) was Morrisons, which is by the railway station, and that was literally 10 minutes’ walk. He’s not exaggerating.

2: The sea front is indeed lovely to walk across. There’s one sandy beach and one pebbly beach (the latter is used for bonfires, apparently, but it was too wet for fire while I was there) and the castle ruins overlooks both of them. We didn’t walk on the sandy beach, because of the sand, but we did walk across the pebbly one, and I found a pebble/rock thing that looked like a burger J. I also kicked the bar... but only because Matt told me to.

1: All the people that I met in Aber were lovely. Everyone was really friendly (although I suppose they were all Matt’s friends, and so would be friendly...) and everyone seemed really happy too!

This is the Bar that I kicked, and needs to be kicked, for unknown reasons... You can see the paint coming off again already!

The weekend after that I went to Glasgow, to visit Zoe. Neither of us can remember what we did on the Thursday night, so we must have just chatted for ages. On Friday we went into town and went shopping, which was nice, before rushing back to grab our Valentine’s Day cake to take to JSoc Friday night meal. It was very yummy (the cake and the meal!) and we stayed until about midnight, I think. On Saturday we went into town again and met Emma, and spent a lovely afternoon wandering round Glasgow – to the Cathedral and the Museum of Religious Art and Life. And reading Maisy books, obviously... This was followed by a showing of a film at the Synagogue. The film was hilarious – my favourite character by far was the Grandma. I can’t remember the name, but rest assured it was very good! Crossing Delancey – that was it! Anyway. Sunday was spent on a lovely walk through a park and some Botanic Gardens, followed by Pancakes (or rather, Crêpes) which were very yummy! I had one with an apple filling, but Zoe and Emma had ones with chocolate filling, while Caitlin had a savoury one. They all looked lovely!

The weekend after I went to visit my Grandma, which, as always, was lovely too. I got in quite late on the Friday as I had labs, so when I got to Grimsby we just went shopping for about an hour in ASDA. Good bargains to be had at about half past ten on a Friday night! I saw one of my cousins on the Saturday, when he came over for lunch with his fiancée, and the other two on the Sunday, before catching my train back, which was nice.

The weekend after THAT I had at home, which was nice as it gave me chance to tidy up the house and sort out my room a bit, as last weekend my friend (and manager) Linda came to stay. This inevitably meant McDonalds, free Dominoes pizza, visits to the Museum of Science and Industry and the Manchester Museum, and CHEESE. I found this good. J

In between all of this, exam results came out – I had such a range of marks, it was somewhat ridiculous. I failed an exam (sad times) which means I get to come back to Manchester in August to resit it, but then I got two 2.2s, two 2.1s and a 1^st. Typical, really! I’ve also now signed up to a revision skills workshop, which will teach me how to revise, I hope! I’ll try to remember to let you know how that goes...

And it’s Lent! The main reason for my post, about a thousand words in... I wish I could just bash out my 750 word German essay like this. I’ve got to 150 words and I don’t know what else I want to say... still, never mind. It will come to me eventually, I hope. Anyway. Lent. Lent always strikes me as a bit of a funny season. It seems like a much better time to start New Year’s Resolutions (see previous blog) as I think that we’re much more likely to stick to them, as you only really have to do (nor not-do, depending) for 44 days between Shrove Tuesday and Easter Sunday. This year, to help my New Year’s Resolution of Eating More Healthily (yeah, that hasn’t really happened too much...) I’ve given up Chocolate, and to help the New Year’s Resolution of Being More Organised I’ve given up Facebook. It’s the latter that’s proving more difficult to be honest, or maybe I’m just more aware of it. I’ve also realised that all the passive news – that is, news that is news but not text-worthy news – that I get is now gone. Now I have to actually talk to people and listen to what they say if I want any information! Haha. Isn’t that a novel idea?

And what have I been doing with all this spare time, I hear you ask? I've been baking. Yes, my entire afternoon yesterday was not spent working, as it probably should have been, but in the kitchen. After making tea (Sweet and Sour vegetables) I then proceeded to bake a very yummy Victoria Sponge (even if I do say so myself), some thick chewy Oatmeal and Sultana cookies (I didn't have raisins) and, for the first time ever, some Challah. The recipes for the last two I got from Deb at Smitten Kitchen, and she is wonderful. She takes lovely pictures of her food as well, which mean that you really want to make them! Challah, by the way for those who don't know, is bread made using eggs. Because it doesn't use milk or butter, it's pareve, which means that it's neither meat nor milk so can be eaten with either! It was a bit too gooey going into the oven I think, but better luck next time!

[You'll come back...]

So this last week (apparently) we were supposed to be all about Christian Unity. I’ve read lots of interesting discussions about this recently – both on Facebook and blogs (including Matt’s, Richard’s and David’s) – all of whom have very interesting points to make. And I must say that it’s challenged me.

I’ve never really thought about it before. I mean, I know I like Methodism, but I’ve never really thought of why that is, other than the fact that I’ve grown up with it, so I’m used to it. I’ve been to FURY (Fellowship of United Reformed Youth) as well as MYC/MYA (Methodist Youth Conference/Assembly respectively – the former before the latter) and, as lovely and welcoming as FURY were (and are, I hasten to add!) MYC/A still feels like home.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my idea of Christian Unity may be very different from other people’s. I was sure that I’d read in one of the aforementioned blogs about Christianity being like a family, but when I just had a quick look (I started writing this at least a week ago) I couldn’t find it. Anyway, a family is just what I see Christianity as being.

I don’t think that this is a new idea, or an unusual metaphor. In fact, I think we might use it so often we forget about the meaning. I’m the last one that needs to be reminded about the differences I have with other Christians. Whether these are things I’m not sure of myself, things I know I have a very set view on (which I know others disagree with) I recognise that we all think different things. But that’s fine. And yes, I will pray that we all come closer together as a family, because I do not think that this means that we all need to be the same.

For example, say my Uncle Bob thinks that I do not have the right or the means to talk to God directly, and have to go to a priest. If that’s what Uncle Bob thinks, that’s great, good for him. I, on the other hand, think that I can talk to God whenever I want, and don’t need a priest to act as a bridge between us. My cousin Fred, however, might think that I can only make a decision about what I believe once I’m 21. I think that while this has good and bad points, an individual should be allowed to make their own decision about when they are ready to publically declare their faith. I’m sure you get the idea – just because we don’t agree on everything doesn’t make us love each other any less or make us any less of a family. In fact, it makes us stronger and closer, as no matter who comes to join us at the dinner table, there will be someone else there that can relate to the guest. (The dinner table wasn’t meant as a theological reference, by the way, although I see the parallels. It just happens to be where most new people are introduced to my particular family).

All in all, what I’m trying to say is be who you are, be what you want, so long as you show love and respect to everyone else. That means not pushing your views onto other people, as this will only cause argument. By all means discuss your views, so long as at the end of the day you can just agree to disagree. This works (to a large extent) in a normal family, so why not in the Church? I realise that to some this may be an idyllic scenario, but I really don’t see why it can’t work. I may just be unbelievably naive, or we, as a Church, are just incredibly stupid.

Think about it.

In other news, exams are nearly over now (2/3rds done, 2 to go) and I have a busy few weekends lined up. This blogging every week thing is not going to go well.

I’d just like to leave you with the lyrics to a brilliant song I’ve recently discovered. It’s called “The Call” by Regina Spektor. I must admit that Matt’s been on at me for a while to listen to her, but I’ve just not got round to it, or forgotten. Still, youtube it if you have a couple of minutes to spare. Think about the lyrics while you’re listening – they’re quite moving. You might recognise it from the Narnia series – great films.

It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought, which then turned into a quiet word, and then that word grew louder and louder, 'til it was a battle cry.
I'll come back when you call me - no need to say goodbye. Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before; all you can do is try to know who your friends [and family?] are as you head off to the war. Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light. You'll come back when it's over - no need to say good bye.
You'll come back when it's over - no need to say good bye.
Now we're back to the beginning. It's just a feeling and no one knows yet, but just because they can't feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget. Let your memories grow stronger and stronger, 'til they're before your eyes.
You'll come back when they call you - no need to say good bye.
You'll come back when they call you - no need to say good bye.

How true is this for us, if “they” are your family? Either your brothers and sisters through blood, your chosen brothers and sisters, or your brothers and sisters in Christ? Will you come back when they call you?

[for the sake of auld lang syne]

Well, my attempts at writing a new blog every Sunday went well, didn’t they? Let’s change it slightly to a new blog once a month on a Sunday – this might be more realistic and therefore more achievable ;)

A couple of the blogs I’ve read recently (Fiona’s and Bx’s) are about New Year’s Resolutions (or lack of them). I’ve always said something along the lines of “My New Year’s Resolution is to not make any more New Year’s Resolutions” which has always worked well enough for me. So, this got me thinking... why on earth to we actually make resolutions? If we’re all secretly alright with who we are (which we are, otherwise we would have made these changes long ago) why do we bother with making (or attempting to make) all these changes to ourselves and our lifestyles? I had a look into it and it all dates back to the Romans, you’ll be pleased to hear. Basically, Janus (where the word January comes from) has two heads, and so can look forwards and backwards at the same time (how he copes with this as well as being a man I have no idea) and is therefore ideally placed to have a look at new beginnings, which, of course, is what the New Year is all about. Good ol’ Wikipedia gave me a few statistics about New Year’s Resolutions – 12% of people actually achieve their resolutions. It doesn’t give a timeframe for this... but I guess it’s within the year. It was interesting to find out that men achieve their targets more often when they set themselves a goal, whereas women are more likely to achieve when they make their goals common knowledge and get support. I guess women don’t really like to lose face, or be seen to be incompetent... I know I certainly don’t.

This year, however, I feel that 20 years’ worth of living is a suitable number to reassess one’s life and to make changes. (Yes, I’ve been here for a grand total of two decades. Scary stuff!) After all, a new habit is formed after a period of six weeks. This means that if you get up at 5am every week for six weeks, you’ll want to go to get up at 5am on the seventh week. I’m not going to pretend that I’ve read much into it (if at all) or that I understand psychology, but on the face of it, this sounds good enough for me. So, New Year’s Resolutions, I hear you ask? Here are my three:

1. Lose a couple of stone

I think that this will do me good. According to BMI-ness I’m overweight, so getting rid of a couple of stone would be quite nice. There’s also the fact that I’ve been invited to three weddings this summer, and losing some weight would mean that I think that I’d look nicer in dresses, which would then make me feel nicer and so would make me look nicer. I hope that makes sense, but if not, oh well. I know what I mean! I plan to do this by:

a. Eating healthily

My Brother got me a cookbook for Christmas that has 114 healthy recipes in it, and my Grandma got me a Jamie Oliver cookbook as well. I think this will mean that I’ll have more variety in my cooking and be more aware of what I eat. I was feeling quite tired before Christmas, probably due to my essentially vegetarian diet at uni, which meant that I didn’t have so much iron. However, I’m into the habit of eating fresh fruit (not quite there on the veg yet – something to work on!) and eating at sensible times and in sensible amounts. Just got to keep it up!

b. Going to the gym

A couple of my friends in Manchester have committed to (between them) doing 5 hours of cardiovascular exercise a week with me. While I appreciate that this won’t tone me as much as reps will, it’s good to have variety, and their support will really be useful. Reps and stretches I can do at home, which is nice (especially in the colder weather) and I invested in a weighted skipping rope a while ago, which I should really use. So, I think that the gym twice a week at least isn’t too unrealistic... right?

2. Be more disciplined

As I am now 20 I feel that I should have a greater grasp of my life. I need to actually care about what I look like most of the time as opposed to only some of the time. This means that I should do my hair so it is acceptable every morning, wear makeup if the situation requires it, get dressed before noon every day and actually do some work. This means that I will have to have more will power... I WILL do a bit of work every day. Honest. :/ This also includes things like making home-cooked food, keeping the house and my room tidy as much as is humanly possible, and not getting so carried away by dreams that I forget to concentrate what’s happening here and now.

3. Saving the best 'til last... I’ll start all this tomorrow.

It’s well reported that January is the worst time ever to start a resolution. With all the over-eating from Christmas and New Year, the added pressure of (in my case) exams at uni and meeting up with everyone again after Christmas, it’s highly likely that a weight loss plan will only be in place for a month, maximum, and as we all start off with more weight to shift, we stop as soon as we get back to the weight we were before Christmas. Hope that made sense – it was a rather long sentence. :/ I know a stitch in time saves nine, but too much change in too short a period could spell disaster. The question is, am I ready to take the risk that this change could bring? I quite like who I am, really. I know I say I could do with losing a couple of stone and being more focussed and disciplined, but I’m still young. I like my friends, and will they still like me if I aim for this perfection? (I’m sure they will, don’t get me wrong... but it’s all stuff to consider). Tomorrow never dies, so I don’t really have too much to worry about...

I was going to put one of those really well known everyday sayings on the end of this blog, but I've completely forgotten what it was. Oh - that was it! (My mind goes every so often, I'm sorry) The best thing to consider while deciding on New Years' Resolutions (in my opinion)?

"Be who you are, and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr Seuss