Wednesday, 21 November 2012

[you're the only one who knows me]

Struggling with Job Applications at the moment.  

Disclaimer:  I would never actually write this in a job application form.  I take job applications very seriously... but this is a good bit of fun, which addresses the fact that very often everyone is thinking about cake, and its benefits in the workplace, but it is rarely mentioned.  (well, that's what John said)...

Dear big multi-national corporation,

I think you should employ me because, quite frankly, I need some money. I have been at university for the last 4 years, which means that I have managed to accrue some debt. As I would like to live in a nice house when I graduate, I am in rather urgent need of some financial assets that will aid me in this venture. In addition to needing somewhere to live, I also need money to buy cake-making supplies. Rest assured that I will see this as an investment on your part and will pay back interest on this investment in cake-form. To show my good will I will even let you choose the type of cake I make first. As you are a multi-national corporation, I anticipate having to requisition some of your machinery so that I will be able to demonstrate my advanced chemical engineering skills in order to produce a cake of suitable size such that all may partake of its goodness.

This particular skill, when considered alongside my need of money in our materialistic society and my qualities as a generally nice person, should set me far above any other candidate you may choose to consider. I appreciate that you must keep up appearances when dealing with other candidates, so will also bring cake to interviews and assessment centres to give a foretaste of the banquet I am capable of preparing when I work for you.

I look forward to hearing from you.


Should set me up, right?

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