Thursday, 15 January 2009

[only on my own]

Life may well be about learning to dance in the rain...
and that's all very well if you know the steps. Or at least know how the steps are supposed to go. Or even what the dance is supposed to look like!

It would help if I knew what it was that I was supposed to do.
Up til now, everything's been set out for me. I've been shown what I'm supposed to do. Even if I wasn't sure what to do, there was always someone I could go to.
Not that there isn't now. I mean, don't get me wrong. I know that if I need it, there are lots of people that I can go to. But, should I need a hug, or anything of the sort, it's a bit far to go for one.
Once you hit 18, the whole parent thing changes. Not so much as you'd notice it at first, but (having been 18 for a week) I can safely say that it is a strange situation to be in.
You're in the same place you grew up in, but you're no longer a child. People are changing. Times are changing. And yes, I'm changing too.

I sometimes feel that I've lost my way. Somewhere, somehow I've wandered off this path that I was following and now... now I don't know. I was always so consciencious... so motivated, so... with it, I guess. But now... quite often I catch myself really not caring one way or the other.
I mean, I still want the same things, but I'm not as prepared to go the extra mile for them anymore. What's wrong with me?

I'll have to cope with failure soon enough. March will be full of that sort of thing, I can see now.
Better start getting used to it, I suppose...

1 comment:

lookingforlimerence said...

methinks you need to add the followers widget so i can follw your blog... it's on the layout options